Fantasy Vs. Reality in Femdom

I’m seeing this interesting trend happening in the Femdom/Findom scene lately. I’ve been hesitant to comment on it, but fuck it – I’m going to do it anyway.

It seems that if a woman is not 100% dominant in all areas of life, she is often labelled as a fake or just catering to a guy’s fantasy for money.

I will tell you now, I’m not 100% dominant. I prefer balance in my personal life. If you really think I go around trying to control everybody and everything, you are sorely mistaken. Who I show through Miss Conceited is merely a part of who I am. Does this mean that when I am being Miss Conceited that I am fake and will just play pretend anything? No. I have my fantasies that I enjoy and the ones that I’d rather not take part in. 

I feel like as Dommes we must constantly have to prove we are REALLY dominant so guys REALLY pay us. However, isn’t that supporting their fantastical perceptions and projections of us? I do this work because it empowers me, and I just so happen to enjoy being spoiled. I am able to creatively channel my inner she devil and get paid for it instead of unconsciously using it within the realms of my personal life. It’s a catharsis for me just as much as it is for the “submissive” men who indulge in these fantasies.

Now many seem to think that if one is not truly dominating another it is not real. Well, I would have to argue even in a Femdom scene a kick in the nuts would REALLY hurt. The same goes with financial domination. I would rather you REALLY feel the pain in your wallet – you can always make more money, anyway.

There are of course some fantasies that are probably unsafe to engage in outside of the imagination – which in this case play pretending and pure fantasy is the only safe alternative. However, those situations are rare and are normally things I won’t engage in anyway. What other consenting adults do is none of my business in any case.


A woman who offers a service REALLY getting paid for her time should be standard no matter if she is dominant, submissive, or anywhere in between. Even if she is simply acting out a fantasy she gets paid for it….DUH. I see a lot of subtle passive aggressive under- cutting of others with flaky logic of many who feel the need to dictate who is and who is not deserving of getting paid. Someone putting effort into something that people want and putting a price on it gets paid for it. PERIOD.

We’re all players in this fucked up game called life anyway.


May as well own it. 

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